Reports from Buckingham Palace suggest the Queen may decide to put “a donk” on the National Anthem after Britain finally leaves the EU.
Sources within the Palace revealed the Queen, Elizabeth Windsor, believes Britain will have to reinvent its national identity after Brexit and a “few subtle changes” to the National Anthem could be the perfect way to kickstart the process.
“Lizzie’s got all sorts of ideas for things to do after Brexit,” claimed one Palace insider. “Most of them are batshit mental to tell you the truth, I think the poor old doll is finally losing her mind, I’m surprised it’s taken so long, putting up with all the shit that old dingbat Philip gives her.”
“She’s been going on about changing the Union Jack to a massive black smiley face on a yellow background and every time I try to tell her that’s most likely copyrighted she tells me that she’s the Queen and she’ll do what she likes,” continued our source. “The Princes think it’s hilarious but no one will do anything in case she writes them out of the will.”
“Now, she’s on about putting a donk on the anthem,” revealed the anonymous Palace employee. “We never should have let her go to see The Blackout Crew when she was in Bolton last year. Now, all she wants to do is put a donk on everything. The Christmas Speech, put a donk on it, what she says when she meets foreign dignitaries, put a donk on it, her morning alarm, put a donk on it, put a donk on it, put a donk on it, put a donk on it, put a fucking donk on everything.”
According to experts, while most British citizens believe that putting a donk on God Save the Queen would improve the National Anthem they do not think it would show the country in a positive light in the post-Brexit era.