Rule Britannia To Be Replaced By S Club Party
Following the recent omission of Rule Britannia from the Proms, it has been confirmed by a number of major news outlets that the divisive British song is set to be replaced by
“Virtual Festivals Aren’t Really Festivals” Claim Anyone Capable Of Thought
The internet today collectively gave up on “virtual festivals” after accepting they are nothing of the sort. “A chat window and a badly-shot DJ stream is not the same as being in
Locked-Down Pub Landlord Insists Beer Would Have Gone To Waste If He Didn’t Drink It All
The landlord of a pub that was closed due to lockdown restrictions has defended his decision to drink 440 pints of beer and cider in the last two months by insisting it
Government Confirms Due To Safety Concerns, Only Carling To Be Served In UK Pubs Today
UK government officials have confirmed Carling will be the only beer served in pubs tomorrow, due to increased concerns over the wellbeing of the British public. The announcement was made on Friday
100% Of UK Pubs Sold Out Of Booze Within First 5 Hours Of Opening
Following a statement released by the Pub Landlords Union (PLU), it has been officially confirmed that there is no more alcohol left in any pubs across the UK. Behavioural experts employed to
‘That’s What You Get For Moving To Mac’ Says Bill Gates
‘I warned you” was the statement from Bill Gates HQ earlier this morning. “I said a global pandemic was coming. I told you for years you weren’t prepared. I spent billions on
We Get Dressed In The Dark – Solardo
In news that comes as absolutely no surprise to anybody within the dance music community, DJ duo Solardo have confirmed they get dressed in the dark. Appearing recently in a newspaper interview
Man Installing 5G Tower Admits It Was Suicide
A man who installed a local 5G tower has admitted it was an act of suicide. Hans Burn, a network logistics operator with the New World Order has admitted to installing a
Buckfast Now Available In IV Drip
People all over Scotland are believed to be celebrating today after Buckfast announced they are set to launch a brand new line of IV drips later this year. Monks at Buckfast Abbey
Paying Extra £20 For Ticket Does Not Make You A VIP
A report from the clubbing industry has found that paying an extra £20 for your ticket does not make you a VIP. The news comes as a shock to many people who