Fisher’s management team is celebrating today, following the news that breakthroughs in Artificial Intelligence mean we can now translate anything that Fisher says into English.
Up until now, anybody that wanted to communicate with the Aussie DJ had to do so through a team of skilled code-crackers.
“Most days, we would record the sounds coming from his general direction and just print out the waveforms, trying to analyze them for patterns or anything that sounded earth-like that we might recognize” Said Alanna Turing, who worked on decrypting Fisher on a daily basis.
“This usually ended with Fisher crashing the office, getting us all pissed on shots before he set fire to the papers and stuck his head backwards out the window to laugh at the neighbours.”
“We’re absolutely delighted with this news” said Supernanny, who has been Fisher’s manager for the last 10 years.
“I mean, he seems like a lovely fella. But I haven’t got a fucking clue what he’s saying.”
“It’s like having a drunk pet in your house that just crows all day.”
“We were considering having a new voice box put in him. Get spare parts off some well-to-do posh kid that got hit by a car. Get him speaking the Queens English so we can actually communicate with him… but nooo.”
“The government stepped in. They reckon he is a national treasure. They’re saving him for if the aliens ever invade. They wanna send him out first…”
“They think he might speak their language.”
