Americans Unsure Whether To Inject Tan or Disinfectant First
A Trump supporter is this morning at a complete deadlock and can’t decide whether to bang up his morning hit of bleach or if indeed those tanning injections, much loved by his
UK Mourning Millions Of Deflated Lips Nationwide
In the latest lockdown update released by UK government, it appears deflated lips are on the rise, with 262,000 new cases reported over the last seven days taking the grand total to
Man Installing 5G Tower Admits It Was Suicide
A man who installed a local 5G tower has admitted it was an act of suicide. Hans Burn, a network logistics operator with the New World Order has admitted to installing a
Girl Lost At Sea For 19 Days Kept Afloat By Lip Fillers
A twenty two year old girl has been found floating off the coast of Brighton by a local fisherman, nineteen days after going missing. Having fallen headfirst from an Ibiza booze-cruise and
Man Fails To Get His Shit Together For 687th Consecutive Weekend
Reports reaching Wunderground this evening suggest that an Irishman has reportedly failed to “get his shit together” for 687th consecutive weekend. Barry Higgins, a thirty three year old from Dublin’s northside, is
Man Driving 3 Litre Jeep To Festival Definitely Won’t Leave His Tent Behind
A man who plans on driving a three-litre jeep to a festival this weekend is adamant that he will be taking his tent home with him at the end. Peter Wade, whose
Woman Who Tried To Replace Partying With Exercise Decides To Go Back To Partying
A twenty eight year old woman who used exercise to fill the void left in her life when she quit partying, has reportedly decided to go back to partying. Claire Davis, a
Bloke Who’s Been Raving For 15 Years Still Can’t Tell Difference Between House And Techno
A man who has been going to raves for approximately fifteen years has today admitted that he is still unsure about the differences between house and techno. Andy Gallagher, know known locally
Man Who Can’t Afford Rent Happy To Blow £200 On Night Out
A man who is struggling to make this month’s rent is reportedly ready to “smash the pants off” another £200 night out this weekend. Martin Oliver, a bank clerc from Stoke-on-Trent, is
Man Who Put Hands Up For Detroit 10 Years Ago Still Has Them Up
A man who put his hands up for Detroit in late 2009 is believed to still have his arms in the air almost a full decade later. Antoine Clancy, a thirty-two-year-old from