Today: November 11, 2025
April 1, 2023
1 min read

Vinyl Outsells Pop-Tarts For The First Time

In a further sign of Vinyl’s relentless climb back to the top, the format has this week outsold the popular Nineties breakfast treat, pop tarts, for the first time. 

This news comes hot on the heels of the popular format outselling Donkey Kong hot-water-bottles for the first time ever last week.

And that news came only days after it broke that vinyl had finally outsold vegan banana-flavored milk for the first time in history.

“At this rate, it’ll be outselling RS body kits for the 88’ shape Vauxhall Nova pretty soon. And I never thought I would be saying that” said Terry Trump, Head of Absolute Fucking Pointless Statistics, from the Institute of Boring News About Vinyl.

Sources close to Poptarts head office claim the news has ‘devastated the entire team.’

We’ll keep you updated on vinyl’s sales figures several times a week, despite the fact you probably haven’t bought one in years, because, quite frankly, there just isn’t any interesting stuff happening in Dance Music to write about.

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