David Morales Launches Topless OnlyFans Account
House legend David Morales has this week announced to his followers they can subscribe to his new OnlyFans account to see thousands of topless pictures, all taken over the last 40 years
Pilled Up Clubber Ruins Laptop Trying To Share Bottle Of Water During Virtual Rave
A man who managed to break his laptop by ramming a bottle of water into the screen has been found trying to piece together the events that unfolded during a 17-hour bedroom
The Black Madonna, Madonna & Diego Maradona Form House-Pop-Coke Super Group
Huge news has emerged from Hollywood as three larger than life characters are to form the unlikeliest super-group in the history of music, sport, TV… well, everything. Outspoken DJ, the Black Madonna,
CEO Who Said “Be More Productive On Lockdown” Found Boozing At Home In His Underwear
A chief executive officer of a FTSE 100 company who told his LinkedIn followers that they “should be working harder and faster” while on lockdown has accidentally uploaded a photo of himself
Annoying Guy From Nightclub Offering Free Lessons In Social Distancing
The guy from your local nightclub who doesn’t understand the concept of personal space and who always finds himself on the receiving end of “leave me the fuck alone” on nights out
Gym-Rat Left In Tears As 3 Month Course Of Steroids “Counts For Nothing”
A local gym-rat has been left in tears after realising the three-month course of steroids he injected throughout February, March and April will now “count for nothing” this summer. 24-year-old Danny Smith
Americans Unsure Whether To Inject Tan or Disinfectant First
A Trump supporter is this morning at a complete deadlock and can’t decide whether to bang up his morning hit of bleach or if indeed those tanning injections, much loved by his
We Get Dressed In The Dark – Solardo
In news that comes as absolutely no surprise to anybody within the dance music community, DJ duo Solardo have confirmed they get dressed in the dark. Appearing recently in a newspaper interview
UK Mourning Millions Of Deflated Lips Nationwide
In the latest lockdown update released by UK government, it appears deflated lips are on the rise, with 262,000 new cases reported over the last seven days taking the grand total to
Man Installing 5G Tower Admits It Was Suicide
A man who installed a local 5G tower has admitted it was an act of suicide. Hans Burn, a network logistics operator with the New World Order has admitted to installing a