Climate Protester Glued To The Telly
A climate protester has this morning glued himself to the telly and has told his Mum that under no circumstances will he be moved for the day. “I’ve been out all week
Kethead Locked In Portaloo Since 2019 ‘Glad To Be Free’
A lad who purchased what he is calling ‘a fairly decent sized bag of Ket’ has this morning stumbled out of the portaloo he has called home since 2019, asking builders on
Guy Who Offered Girl A Line Annoyed She Accepted
A man has been left feeling “a bit annoyed” after a girl he met at a party done a line of his coke. Twenty-four-year-old Tommy Smith from Essex is said to have
Guy Perfecting 6-Pack Unaware It’s His Personality That Needs The Work
A twenty-year-old lad from Manchester who dedicates far too much time perfecting his 6-pack is understood to be blissfully unaware that his personality sucks. Gym-obsessed Ryan Green, who loves nothing more than
Guy In Rave Spends 5 Hours Trying To Get Key In Bag
News has hit Wunderground HQ that a man has spent more than 5 hours trying to get his key into his k-bag, without any success. 26-year-old Josh Smith, who proudly smuggled the
Festival Balloon Sellers Remain On Furlough Until 2022
In the latest update surrounding COVID-19, it has been confirmed that festival balloon sellers will remain on 80% furlough until February 2022. Government MP, Rishi Sunak, confirmed: “every industry has its key
Pilled Up Clubber Ruins Laptop Trying To Share Bottle Of Water During Virtual Rave
A man who managed to break his laptop by ramming a bottle of water into the screen has been found trying to piece together the events that unfolded during a 17-hour bedroom
CEO Who Said “Be More Productive On Lockdown” Found Boozing At Home In His Underwear
A chief executive officer of a FTSE 100 company who told his LinkedIn followers that they “should be working harder and faster” while on lockdown has accidentally uploaded a photo of himself
Annoying Guy From Nightclub Offering Free Lessons In Social Distancing
The guy from your local nightclub who doesn’t understand the concept of personal space and who always finds himself on the receiving end of “leave me the fuck alone” on nights out
Gym-Rat Left In Tears As 3 Month Course Of Steroids “Counts For Nothing”
A local gym-rat has been left in tears after realising the three-month course of steroids he injected throughout February, March and April will now “count for nothing” this summer. 24-year-old Danny Smith