Christopher Columbus Discovers Good Tech House Track
“Tech House is fucking WANK!” Christopher Columbus told Wunderground earlier today. “I’ve been dead hundreds of years, and nothing – NOTHING – has ever made me feel as dead inside as some
Case Closed: Tupac Death Labelled Covid-19
The West Coast gangster rap scene can today breath a sigh of relief, as a rare moment of closure befalls the unsolved Tupac Shakur killing of 1996. Authorities in Las Vegas have
Drum N Bass DJ Only Knows 2 Genres “Drum N Bass & Anything That’s Not Drum N Bass”
A drum n bass DJ has admitted that he only knows two genres of music, drum n bass and anything that’s not drum n bass. Tommy Grainger, a.k.a. DJ Tommy G, a.k.a.
Psytrance DJ Considered Sellout After Getting First Paid Gig
A psytrance DJ has been labeled a “sellout” by a group of his peers after performing at his first paid gig last weekend. Senior members of the psytrance family have slammed Alan
Kellogs Giving Away Free Tech House Tracks Inside Boxes Of Cornflakes
Kellogs are set to give away free tech house tracks in all boxes of Cornflakes during the month of October. The world’s largest breakfast cereal producer confirmed the offer earlier today and
Archeologists Uncover Gabber Then Bury It Again
In recent news, a group of Oxford archeology students have discovered the oldest recorded version of gabber. The class were astounded to hear the distorted sounds of a pitch-shifted bass blaring from
Man Who Put Hands Up For Detroit 10 Years Ago Still Has Them Up
A man who put his hands up for Detroit in late 2009 is believed to still have his arms in the air almost a full decade later. Antoine Clancy, a thirty-two-year-old from
New Moby Album To Be Recorded In Frequency Only Heard By Dogs
Dance music legend Moby is set to return to the studio later this year to record an album for dogs. Sources have confirmed the artist has been working on a number of
Scientists Develop Sound System Capable Of Making Psytrance Sound Good
A team of British scientists claims to have developed a state of the art sound system that can actually make psytrance sound good. The team, based in a top-secret government compound, just
Tech House DJ Running Out Of Places To Get Shit Tattoos
A tech house DJ is said to be considering his options after revealing that he is very close to running out of space on his body for his shit tattoo collection. Max