Instagram To Add ‘Duck Face’ Filter To Save Women the Trouble
Instagram today announced a move that is set to save women everywhere the hours of time and effort it takes for them to pout slightly in photographs. Their new filter will add the ubiquitous ‘duck face’ pose on up to four people in a photograph – without the necessity to contort their faces in any way.
The technology behind the innovation is being kept a tightly guarded secret by Instagram, however some technical advisers on the project have implied that they combine the use of Adobe Photoshop, Facebook’s Facial Recognition Software and images from old Daffy Duck cartoons to achieve the flawless and natural effect.
The filter will be introduced with a series of other additions, including filters that will make women in the photograph stand slightly to the side, another which will digitally add a hand to their hips, and one which will automatically readjust their eyes away from their phone screen so that it appears they are looking at the camera when the photo is being taken, and not, as is so common, at themselves.
“You can use it in a nightclub bathroom, taking selfies on a beach towel or with your friends standing in a line with their hands on their hips outside a nightclub,” gushed an Instagram spokesperson.
The move has been welcomed by women’s groups who feel that they have to spend too much time making unnatural faces in photographs.
“I’ve wasted on average about thirty seconds a day having to get my duck face right. That adds up to over a year of my life pushing my lips out just the right distance between slutty and stupid,” confirmed a spokesperson for women’s magazine/conformist guide, Marie Claire. “I could be using that time on more useful things, like my hair or makeup or reading Existentialism & Humanism by Jean Paul Sartre or one of Jordan’s autobiographies.”
Ducks everywhere have also welcomed the move, claiming that they have been maligned by the recent trend. “We want our faces back. We don’t spend time doing ‘human faces’ when you photograph us. Give us back our natural countenance.”
The app will be available to download next week and comes with a warning that it shouldn’t be used by anyone who wants people to perceive them as anything more than a superficial poser.