Graham

Alice Deejay Looking For A Housemate

Dutch trance-pop-superstar from the past, Alice Deejay, has finally admitted that she is not better off alone and is currently seeking a new housemate. Alice Deejay, real name Wendy Pieters, has reportedly

February 28, 2019

DJs

Cunt Politician Worried Not Enough Nightclubs Are Closing

A cunt politician is reportedly worried that not enough is being done to ensure that nightclubs continue to close up and down the country. The politician, who can not be named because

February 28, 2019

Clubs

Bloke Fails To Change Boxers Once During Week In Ibiza

A young man has today revealed that he once managed to go an entire week in Ibiza without once changing his boxer shorts. Darren McGrath, twenty-three, claims the unhygienic event happened during

February 27, 2019

Ibiza·People Of The World

Lad Who Set Up Facebook Event Page Changes LinkedIn Job Title To Event Organiser

A lad who recently set up a Facebook event page has reportedly changed his LinkedIn job title to “Event Organiser”. Peter Murray, who has previously listed job titles like “Photographer”, “Stylist”, “Personal

February 27, 2019

People Of The World·Promoters

Listening To EDM Could Be The First Sign Your Child Is Mental

An American doctor has reportedly claimed that listening to EDM could be the first sign that your child is mental. Simon Lewis, a.k.a. Doctor Si, claimed that most of the EDM fan

February 26, 2019

EDM

Non-Alcoholic Wine Named World’s Most Expensive Fruit Juice

A rare vintage of non-alcoholic French wine has been named the world’s most expensive fruit juice after a bottle sold for a staggering £2,930. The beverage was sold during an auction at

February 26, 2019

Drinks

Bedroom DJ Seeking Investment From Parents For “Essential DJ Booth Renovations”

An English bedroom DJ has reportedly written a fifteen page proposal to his parents in the hope of receiving funding for what he has called “essential DJ booth renovations”. Max Grantham, the

February 25, 2019

Bedroom DJs

Man’s Head Swells To Size Of Beach Ball After Suffering Allergic Reaction To Tech House

A man’s head has reportedly swollen to the size of a beach ball after suffering a severe allergic reaction to tech house. James Swann, a thirty-three-year-old trance fan, believes he was exposed

February 25, 2019

Tech House

Scientists Successfully Clone Carl Cox

After years of trying to genetically engineer the perfect DJ, backyard scientists in a London council estate have finally just said “fuck it” and cloned Carl Cox instead. According to reports, following

February 22, 2019

DJs

Music Producer Getting All His Daily Nutrients From Coffee & Fags

An electronic music producer who spends up to eighteen hours at a time in the studio has revealed that he gets all of his nutrients from coffee and fags. Angelo Prost, a

February 22, 2019

Producers