Man Catches Food Poisoning From Ten Pints Of Beer
A man has this morning called into work sick with a suspected case of food poisoning, which he believes he may have caught from one, or all, of the ten pints of
Queue For Toilet Now “Biggest Thing In Dance Music”
Sources within the electronic music industry have confirmed that the queue for the girl’s toilets in a popular Ibiza nightclub as the new “biggest thing in dance music”. The club, which has
DJ Boring To DJ On Unicycle While Being Shot Out Of Cannon
DJ Boring has announced that he is going to DJ on a unicycle while being shot out of a cannon, in an attempt to prove that he is only boring by name,
Man Who Spent Last 3 Months Getting Pissed In Fields Wondering Where The Summer Went
A bloke who has spent the last three months rolling around the ground in fields getting drunk and fucked up on drugs at festivals has claimed he has no idea where the
No One In Music Industry As Important As They Think They Are
The latest research from the music industry has found that not one single person involved with it in any shape or form, is as important as they think they are. Researchers have
American Athletes To Take The Knee During Diplo DJ Set
A group of American athletes has vowed to take the knee during a Diplo DJ set as a protest against the current state of the music industry. A number of high profile
I Don’t Really Know What Future House Is – Admits Future House DJ
One of the future house industry’s biggest up and coming stars has admitted that he doesn’t really know what future house actually is. In a revealing interview with Wunderground, Nathan Sparkles, the
Vegan Bacon Declared “A Total Waste Of Time”
Reports from the culinary world have found that vegan bacon is a total waste of fucking time for everyone who has been in any way affected by it. Brian Jennings, who has
Bloke Who Thinks He’s Unicorn Actually Just A Dickhead
A bloke who thinks he is a unicorn has apparently been exposed as nothing but a “regular run of the mill dickhead”. Wesley Rowntree, who has been claiming unicorn status since watching
Heavy Metal Fan Claiming Dance Music Is Shite Eats Humble Pie At Industrial Techno Gig
A heavy metal fan who claimed that all dance music was shite has been forced to eat humble pie after actually enjoying an industrial techno gig. Lars Boffhammer, real name Laurence Boffert,