Graham

DJs Now Using Clairvoyants To Help Find Promoters At The End Of A Night

DJs all over the world have reportedly turned to clairvoyants in an attempt to find promoters at the end of the night. According to reports, promoters are rarer than a “dodo riding

June 25, 2019

DJs·Promoters

Promoter Yet To Enjoy One Of Own Parties

A promoter who has been running club shows for almost thirteen years has today admitted that he is yet to enjoy a single one of his events. Martin Underwood, owner of Woody’s,

June 24, 2019

Promoters

Sound Engineer Has Zero Fucks Left To Give To Promoter

A sound engineer has warned all promoters to stay out of his way during an upcoming event, insisting that he has “zero fucks” left to give them. Andy Barton, a failed musician

June 24, 2019

Industry Folk·Promoters

Selling Out The Best Way To Sell Out Claims Promoter

A successful club promoter has revealed that selling out is the key to his success and the secret to selling out shows. Kurt Milton, the founder of one of the world’s biggest

June 21, 2019

Industry Folk·Promoters

Promoter Claims Lack Of People At Gig Make It Way More Underground

A local promoter has tried to find some silver lining to a recently failed show by claiming the lack of people attending actually made it a lot more underground. Speaking to people

June 20, 2019

Promoters

Promoter Only Person In Club Who Knows Who Promoter Is

A club promoter has been left in an extremely distressed state after realising that he is the only person in the entire club who actually knows who he is. Toni Waterville, who

June 18, 2019

Promoters

Customs Officer Finds Charlotte de Witte Voodoo Doll In Amelie Lens’s Hand Luggage

Customs officers in Brussels International Airport have reported finding, what they described as, a “Charlotte de Witte voodoo doll, while searching Amelie Lens’s hand luggage. Lens and de Witte, both from Belgium,

June 18, 2019

DJs

99% Of Tents At Festivals Just Used To Hold Your Shit

One of the world’s leading festival experts has claimed that 99% of the tents found on site at festivals are just used as a “safe-ish place to hold your shit”. According to

June 18, 2019

Festivals

Local Promoters Now Only Competing To See Who Can Lose The Most Money

A group of local promoters have become locked in a bitter battle to see who can lose the most money over the course of this year. According to Wunderground sources, a fierce

June 18, 2019

Promoters

Club Promoter Sacks Photographer Because Show With 12 People Looked Quiet In Photos

A club promoter has reportedly fired his photographer after pictures of a recent show with just twelve people at it made the event look quiet. The promoter, known only as Big Jon,

June 18, 2019

Industry Folk·Promoters

DJs Now Using Clairvoyants To Help Find Promoters At The End Of A Night

Promoter Yet To Enjoy One Of Own Parties

Sound Engineer Has Zero Fucks Left To Give To Promoter

Selling Out The Best Way To Sell Out Claims Promoter

Promoter Claims Lack Of People At Gig Make It Way More Underground

Promoter Only Person In Club Who Knows Who Promoter Is

Customs Officer Finds Charlotte de Witte Voodoo Doll In Amelie Lens’s Hand Luggage

99% Of Tents At Festivals Just Used To Hold Your Shit

Local Promoters Now Only Competing To See Who Can Lose The Most Money

Club Promoter Sacks Photographer Because Show With 12 People Looked Quiet In Photos

Berlin Nightclub Berghain Introduce Secret Handshake Door Policy

“Crystal Meth Actually Good For You” Admit Doctors

“People Who Like EDM Are Technically Retarded” Claims Study

Case Closed: Tupac Death Labelled Covid-19