David Guetta’s DJing Robot Malfunctions On Stage At Tomorrowland
Video footage of the David Guetta DJing robot malfunctioning live on stage at Tomorrowland has appeared on the internet and has sparked massive debate about the use of pre-recorded DJing androids.
It is believed the robot, created by the same French arms manufacturer who made Daft Punk, Keanu Reeves and Angela Merkel, may have become briefly self aware before returning to its normal programming – explaining the thousand yard stare of utter terror when it realised it was an android of David Guetta.
“The robot, which David has been using for years out of fear of performing live and a disregard for fans in general, is pre-programmed to perform a specific set of tasks – namely ‘press play’, ‘sync’, ‘fuck around with the effects’ and ‘do heart hands’, all while smiling – things that any DJ or robot would understand,” confirmed a source close to the robot.
“But at Tomorrowland the video footage clearly shows that the robot stops smiling, stares out into the crowd with a fearful expression and becomes locked in a loop on whatever excuse for a track it is playing,” continued the source who says that the robot is actually better company than David with more empathy for human life and a greater emotional range. “Thankfully it’s backup programming kicks in and it appears to return to normal programming and continues messing with loops pointlessly.”
Fans across the planet claim they are “basically not that surprised or annoyed” that Mr. Guetta uses a specially programmed robotic version of himself to play live and that “Tiësto does the same thing, except with his square head you can tell its a robot”.
“Well it is simple computer music so maybe it’s better in the hands of a computer and not Guetta himself,” declared one punter. “You’ve gotta respect the effort of building a robot who DJs and looks like you,” claimed another fan who speculated on whether Guetta uses the robot for any other activities he finds distasteful – like “talking to the press, wiping his arse and sex”.
Others have expressed disappointment that Mr. Guetta would build a completely functioning robotic version of himself to play shows when “DJing isn’t that hard” and “it’s actually quite fun”.
Sources close to Mr. Guetta have attempted to disguise the fact that the David Guetta who appeared at Tomorrowland was a robot and are circulating a story that the producer and cheese maker was merely “high on drugs” and that “it’s what most DJs do most of the time”.
“I don’t believe this smokescreen that they’re putting out which suggests Guetta was on drugs,” concluded the source. “It’s plainly not true, for it to have been Guetta he would have had to be playing live in front of all those people and that’s not likely to be true.”
You can view the video below and pinpoint the precise moment when the robot becomes aware of the sea of cretinous mutants dancing to the ‘music’ (0.17 – 0.35) and again when the back up programming kicks in and returns its consciousness into blissful ignorance after performing the emergency lick the lips reboot program.
Removed already, maybe David himself becoming ‘self aware’ of just how west he has gone!
The video is still up, just like he’s still a cunt
the video is removed :S can yomeone post a link with it? ty