New Pioneer Mixer Projects Logo Onto DJs Forehead
The new Pioneer XDJ-2023 has been unveiled, and DJs all over Clubland have been frothing at the gash just to get their hands on it. Possibly the most exciting, cutting-edge feature of
DJ Is An Expert At Syncing Tracks To The Firework Display, Somehow
DJs have evolved the ability to see into the future. Either that, or they’ve developed the ability to mindread stage production staff and know their every move before they make it, scientists
Vinyl Outsells Pop-Tarts For The First Time
In a further sign of Vinyl’s relentless climb back to the top, the format has this week outsold the popular Nineties breakfast treat, pop tarts, for the first time. This news comes
This Festival Announced A Similar Line-Up To Everybody Else, And It’s Apparently Worth Writing A News Piece About
This bog standard festival has announced the same shit they announce every year, and we’re going to pay talented people with hopes and dreams, and better places to be, to sit down
Guy Who Offered Girl A Line Annoyed She Accepted
A man has been left feeling “a bit annoyed” after a girl he met at a party done a line of his coke. Twenty-four-year-old Tommy Smith from Essex is said to have
Guy Perfecting 6-Pack Unaware It’s His Personality That Needs The Work
A twenty-year-old lad from Manchester who dedicates far too much time perfecting his 6-pack is understood to be blissfully unaware that his personality sucks. Gym-obsessed Ryan Green, who loves nothing more than
Guy In Rave Spends 5 Hours Trying To Get Key In Bag
News has hit Wunderground HQ that a man has spent more than 5 hours trying to get his key into his k-bag, without any success. 26-year-old Josh Smith, who proudly smuggled the
As News Breaks Of His Womanising Ways, Matt Hancock Announces New DJ Alias
We may know him as cheeky chopped Matt Hancock, Secretary of Health and Social Care and most notably for the massive balls up he made of keeping British humans alive during COVID-19;
Ticket Tout Retires Due To Lack Of Support From Music Industry
London-based ticket tout Chris Mackie has this morning announced he may never return to his lifelong passion of scalping tickets and slightly diminishing concert-attendees overall enjoyment of events. “I’ll be honest with
Bedroom Producer Still Hasn’t Heard About The Pandemic
Enthusiastic young house music producer Jordan Duncan still hasn’t heard about the pandemic that’s been sweeping the globe since last March 2020, according to friends who went looking for him earlier today.