DJ Admits Tattoos Actually Mean Fuck All
A DJ with an extensive collection of tattoos has shocked his fleet of fans by admitting that the majority of them actually mean fuck all. Adam Johnson, aka DJ Jon Adamson, who
Vegan Baby Refusing Breast Milk
The world’s youngest vegan, a three month old baby, has reportedly started to refuse his mother’s breast milk because he feels it is “a little unethical”. Speaking in a series of groans,
Man Tells The Pink Elephants At Work He Probably Got Microdose Levels Wrong
An English man who has real trouble understanding the metric system has reportedly been heard telling pink elephants in work that he probably got his microdose levels wrong. Alan Ivers, a thirty
Man With Huge Record Collection Never Listens To Any Of Them
A man who has been credited with having one of the world’s largest record collections has admitted that he never actually listens to any of them. Despite devoting his life to collecting
Police Seeking “Man Dressed In Black” Following Assault At Techno Gig
Police in Amsterdam are seeking the public’s assistance in finding a man they believe is responsible for a serious assault at a techno gig. The man they are seeking is described as
Psytrance Fan Dies After Paramedic Refuses To Give Mouth To Mouth
A psytrance fan has reportedly died after a paramedic refused to attempt mouth to mouth resuscitation on him. According to witnesses, emergency services were called after the psytrance fan became ill during
Kylie Jenner Becomes Sixth Self-Made Person In Her Family
Reports emerging from the entertainment industry today suggest that Kylie Jenner has just become the sixth self-made individual in her family. Jenner has received glowing praise from all corners of Hollywood after
Geek Producer Worried About Meeting Real People At Debut Gig
A geek music producer has confirmed that he is feeling extremely anxious about meeting “real people” at his debut gig. Colin Reaper, a.k.a. C.Reap, has admitted that he feels particularly out of
DJ Loses Earplugs First Time He Uses Them – For 12th Consecutive Time
A DJ has reportedly lost a brand new set of professional earplugs the first time he used them, for the twelfth consecutive time. Ian Raglin, a.k.a. Crouching Tiger Hidden Raglin, is believed
Aspiring DJ Shocked Mates Don’t Want To Listen To Her Practice For 6 Hours
An aspiring DJ has been left in an extremely shocked state after realising that her mates don’t wants to sit and listen to her practice for hours on end. Mary Hails, a.k.a.