Eiffel 65 “Blue” Voted Greatest Song Of All Time
The 1999 eurodance nonsensical mega hit Blue (Da Ba Dee) by seminal outfit Eiffel 65 has this week been rightly voted the greatest song of all time.
Pipping such hits as Donna Summer’s I Feel Love, Lil Louis’s French Kiss, and the entire works of Aphex Twin, the track won the award at a prestigious ceremony in Frankfurt last night.
“I mean it’s hard to pick apart the sheer unabashed greatness that is Blue (Da Ba Dee),” gushed one attendee, “but for me it’s in the lyrics, ‘I’m blue da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee da ba di’, – John Lennon would have kicked Yoko straight in the fanny to come up with something like that.”
“A lot of songs have subtextual meanings that work on different levels, while other songs are just random nonsense,” he continued. “This one happens to do both, with the lyric ‘I’m Blue’ being a metaphor for depression and ‘da ba dee’ being the nonsensical ranting of a someone performing baby talk while on ketamine.”
“Every once in a while, a work of art comes along that not only changes the world, it changes it for the better,” explained professional dance music appreciater or recreational drug user, Antony Blair who was part of the panel which decided the award.
“I think that anyone who’s ever heard Eiffel 65’s Blue will have been changed by it, if you meet someone and they don’t immediately agree that this Italo dance pop behemoth isn’t the sweetest sound their ears have ever absorbed, well then frankly that person is a liar and you shouldn’t feel bad about spitting gobs of hot phlegm directly into his or her stupid, undiscerning face…”
Eiffel 65 came out of their pop obscurity seclusion in the woods near Leipzig to accept the award on the night and inform their billions of fans that they’re hard at work on the follow up to Blue – suspected to be a response to the bullying of ginger freaks the world over entitled “I’m Red“.
“We’re delighted to have won this award, like all artists we aspire to create something that will truly improve people’s lives, something that will be timeless and I think with Blue we achieved that,” read the statement. “When I meet St. Peter at the pearly gates and he asks me ‘what have you done with your life to improve the world?’ I know that I can just start singing Blue and that he’ll let me in immediately, most likely while dancing and singing along.”
The composers of the songs that were voted in second and third place, Scatman John’s Scatman and 2Unlimited’s No Limit, are said to not feel too aggrieved to have lost out because “in the end the best song won”.