“We’re Full Thanks” Deep House Tells Tiësto

The deep house genre has today come out and told Dutch trance and EDM superstar Tiësto that there’s no room for him to work in the genre claiming “we’re full thanks”.

“There’s already too many deep house DJs, most of whom don’t even really play deep house,” explained deep house spokesperson Huxley. “For a trance and EDM DJ to start playing deep house on a whim to seem relevant to the underground would just ruin the genre so for that reason we can’t let him in.”

“We need proper deep house DJs who’ve been committed to the genre for years and not just in the last 18 months since it’s become dominant,” he continued. “This genre ain’t big enough for the both of us.”

Deep house itself made a statement that it had already let in far too many DJs and it was currently at capacity but it’d put Tiësto’s request on file and get back to him if there are any openings.

“We’re actually just full at the minute, if anyone else jumps onto the deep house bandwagon it’s likely to break,” claimed deep house. “We’re already seeing a divide in what Beatport has popularised as deep house and what purists are considering is actual deep house. If we let Tiësto in then we’ll probably see full scale sectarian war.”

Tiësto reportedly was disappointed with the “no-Tiësto stance” imploring deep house to let it in as they had already let Tiësto Funke in to which deep house responded “no-Tiësto’s” are allowed in.

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A lot of people are mystified by Tiësto’s attempts to ingratiate himself into the underground deep house scene claiming there’s “not that much money in deep house compared to cheesy trance or EDM”.

“If he really wants to start playing deep house then maybe he should play it out live at his sold out expensive shows rather than hidden away on satellite radio,” concluded deep house.