Man Nobody Knows At Afterparty Is Only Person In London Unable To Get An Uber
A man who turned up to an after party in Barking, East London and didn’t even bring any cans, was apparently unable to get an Uber or a cab home. The man,
David Blaine To Attempt A Full Night’s Sleep In Ibiza
The American magician, illusionist and lanky-string-of-shit, David Blaine, has announced that for his next trick he will attempt the impossible and will try to get a full 8 hours sleep in Ibiza,
Ten Walls Places Curse On Barca For Stealing Comeback Thunder
Marijus Adomaitis, Aka Ten Walls, has from the comfort of his own home just placed a witches curse on the Barcelona football team, as he believes their shocking Champions League comeback this
BRIT Awards Praised For Protecting Country From Black Man Swearing
UK music awards the BRITs have been praised for censoring UK Grime star, Mercury Music Prize winner, million selling artist, and role model for a generation, Skepta. The BRITs showed their commitment
Terminal 1 Stage At We Are FSTVL To Get Its Own Postcode
Postal workers in the UK are preparing for chaos in the lead up to summer as it has today been announced that the Terminal 1 stage at WeAreFSTVL will be so large
“Can I Get A Dry Gin, Cider Or Wine” Asks Everybody This Dry January
With the nation in the full grip of dry January, everybody in the entire world has gone to the pub in search of dry gin, cider, wine or basically anything that will
Local Promoter Found Guilty Of Sucking Himself Off
A local promoter of deep house events in Surrey, UK, has today been found guilty of noshing on his own penis for the majority of his spare time. Denis Nation, a 22
Nasa Discover Water On Danny Tenaglia’s Head
New findings from NASA provide the strongest evidence yet that liquid water similar to that from our own planet flows intermittently on Danny Tenaglia’s head. Luke Piewalker of NASA said today that
Stormzy Wins Nobel Peace Prize For Shut Up
The UK Grime & Hip-hop artist Michael Omar, better known by his stage name Stormzy, has today been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize with the committee citing his recent work “Shut Up”
Being Bullied? Stop Playing Shit Tunes, Advise Teachers
A new Europe-wide survey of teachers released today has suggested that most victims of bullying simply need to ditch their shit tunes in order to be socially accepted by their peers. According