99% Of Tents At Festivals Just Used To Hold Your Shit
One of the world’s leading festival experts has claimed that 99% of the tents found on site at festivals are just used as a “safe-ish place to hold your shit”. According to
Promoter Only Person In Club Enjoying Oversold Event
A promoter is reportedly the only person in a local nightclub who is enjoying the night, which he completely oversold. Barry Greaves, known locally as a greedy cunt, is believed to be
Police Seeking “Man Dressed In Black” Following Assault At Techno Gig
Police in Amsterdam are seeking the public’s assistance in finding a man they believe is responsible for a serious assault at a techno gig. The man they are seeking is described as
Festival Stage Inside Active Volcano Definitely Going To Be Lit
Secret Solstice festival have announced audacious plans to put a stage inside an active volcano at this year’s festival. According to organisers of the Iclandic festival, the decision to move the stage
Belgian Club Digs Basement To Be Even More Underground For 25th Birthday
Belgian techno club Fuse has announced plans to dig a new basement in a bid to be “even more underground” for their upcoming twenty fifth anniversary. Sources within the club claim that
Techno Club To Ban Smiling On Dance Floor
One of the world’s leading techno clubs has announced plans to ban all smiling on the dance floor by the end of the year. The club, which is currently involved in an
Event Photographer Definitely Just Winging It
A man who has been walking around a nightclub taking photographs of clubbers on a pretty basic camera is definitely “just winging it”, it is believed. According to reports, the “event photographer”
Cunt Politician Worried Not Enough Nightclubs Are Closing
A cunt politician is reportedly worried that not enough is being done to ensure that nightclubs continue to close up and down the country. The politician, who can not be named because
Psytrance Fan Thinking Fyre Festival Actually Looked Pretty Good
A Welsh psytrance fan who recently watched the Fyre Festival documentary on Netflix is believed to be thinking the now infamous music festival actually looked pretty good. Peter Mings, known locally as