Opening DJ Wants To Know Can He Borrow Headphones
An opening DJ is hopeful of borrowing a set of headphones to perform his set as he hasn’t yet managed to buy himself a set good enough to use while playing out.
Scottish Public Warned elrow Chicken Can’t Be Deep-Fried
The Scottish public have been warned not to attempt to capture and deep-fry the elrow chicken ahead of this weekend’s Elrow Town Festival in Edinburgh. Rumours circulating on social media suggest a
1 In 4 STIs Linked To DJs
The latest research has confirmed that as many as one in every four STIs contracted in the UK is linked to a DJ. The research, carried out by some bloke called Tony,
DJ Quits Family To Concentrate On Solo Career
An aspiring English DJ has reportedly quit his family to concentrate on his solo career. Father of three, James Douglas said goodnight to his children for the last time last night before
DJ Donates Entire Allocation Of Drink Tokens To Alcoholics Annonymous
A charitable DJ has reportedly promised to donate his entire allocation of drink tokens from all gigs for the remainder of the year. The DJ, who has asked to remain anonymous, is
5 Out Of 5 Sound Engineers “Zone Out” When DJs Talk To Them
A recent survey has found that approximately one hundred percent of sound engineers completely “zone out” during conversations with DJs. While some sound engineers have admitted they would engage in conversations with
DJ Drinks 20 Beers Before Set – Blames Sound System For Shit Performance
A DJ who “smashed” twenty beers before a recent set has claimed that a faulty sound system was to blame for an “extremely sub-par” performance. Dan Smith, also known as DJ Dan-In-1,
Sound Engineers Genetically Less Likely To Smile
A recent article in Genetics Weekly, a little known magazine set in the murky world of genetics, has revealed that sound engineers may, in fact, be incapable of smiling. Dr Paul Bonapart,
Promoter Celebrates Lifelong Goal Of Paying Rent On Time
A local promoter is reportedly celebrating this morning after achieving his lifelong goal of paying his rent on time. Paul Durkin, one of the only surviving grime promoters left in the UK,
DJs Now Using Clairvoyants To Help Find Promoters At The End Of A Night
DJs all over the world have reportedly turned to clairvoyants in an attempt to find promoters at the end of the night. According to reports, promoters are rarer than a “dodo riding