DJ Demands Bigger Font on Lineup Before Leaving Womb
An unborn fetus who is expected to eventually grow into a DJ is apparently refusing to be born until the midwife signs off on a bigger font for the artwork to announce
Ryanair To Charge DJs Extra For Emotional Baggage
According to the latest rumours from the aviation industry, Ryanair are set to start charging DJs additional fees for emotional baggage. It is believed that touring DJs currently make up approximately 24%
Man Who Put Hands Up For Detroit 10 Years Ago Still Has Them Up
A man who put his hands up for Detroit in late 2009 is believed to still have his arms in the air almost a full decade later. Antoine Clancy, a thirty-two-year-old from
Raver Who “Remembers Good Old Days” Can’t Actually Remember Good Old Days
Local rave veteran Bill Maxwell was repeatedly heard telling acquaintances about “the good old days” last weekend, according to sources. Completely unprompted, Maxwell informed those nearby that “DJs really were DJs” back
DJ Sneak Shortlisted For Nobel Peace Prize
A leaked document has confirmed that DJ Sneak has been shortlisted for this year’s Nobel Peace Prize. Sneak, real name Carlos Sosa, is believed to have been included on the shortlist after
DJ Who’s Taken Over 300 Flights In Last Year Won’t Use Plastic Straw
A superstar DJ who has taken over three hundred flights in the last year has been left outraged after a bartender tried to serve him a drink with a plastic straw. The
Man Who Won’t Throw Glass Bottles In Bin Still Happy To Let Them Build Up In Kitchen Forever
A man who refuses to throw glass bottles in the bin is happy enough to just let them build up in his kitchen forever. Andrew Spratz, known locally as a bit of
Tour Manager Not Really Sure What His Job Is
The tour manager of a popular British DJ has admitted that he isn’t really sure what his job actually entails. Now into his third year of employment, Barry Smith claimed that when
Techno Fan To Be Given Full Mental Assessment After Buying Plain White T-Shirt
A techno fan is to be given a full mental assessment after she were spotted buying a plain white t-shirt last weekend. Alarms were raised after Martha Schnauzer, an art student based
All Festivals Now Booked By Same Person
A shocking reports from the music industry has claimed that all festivals are now booked by the same person. Sources within the festival circuit have revealed that a “powerful global conglomerate” have